


Fowl Play

by cookinguptales



Category: Original Work, Scooby Doo - All Media Types
Genre: Additional Treat, Crack Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 04:11:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8431363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookinguptales/pseuds/cookinguptales
Summary: The case of the Aztec Chicken Ghost has been a tough one, but Velma thinks she's cracked it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gloria_scott](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloria_scott/gifts).



> Hi gloria-scott! I loved your letter!
> 
> Does it count as an AU if it's original characters? If I've accidentally stepped into a DNW, I'm very sorry, but I saw in your letter that you like Scooby-Doo style reveals, and then you dared us to write you a fic that has a chicken ghost, a haunted antique, AND an unscrupulous archaeologist, and, well, I guess I just couldn't resist.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this very cracky crossover. There is an archaeological site in Calixtlahuaca, but I cannot guarantee the presence of chickens.

There were some times, some crimes, that made Velma seriously consider getting a day job. It was nights like tonight that had her privately wishing that she'd just become a nice librarian or something. A librarian wouldn't be chasing around a giant chicken as it haunted a museum of antiquities, and a librarian definitely wouldn't have gotten locked in the museum's old records room.

Still, the stay had been illuminating.

"I know who's stalking the halls of this haunted museum," she said the moment Fred finally unblocked the door and let her out. She picked a stray cobweb out of her hair and offered him an impish smile. "And it's not the Aztec Chicken Ghost."

* * *

In the end, the gang had let her do the unmasking herself. (That was always her favorite part.) She took hold of the creature's luminescent wattle and gave it a yank -- and its entire head came clean off, revealing a somewhat sweaty older woman who was scowling like no one's business.

"Dr. Freehausen?" the gang asked in unison.

"That's right," the feathered fugitive spat. "It was me. I was the Aztec Chicken Ghost."

"But, like, why?" Shaggy asked.

"Yeah," Daphne chimed in. "What's a groovy researcher like you doing haunting an old museum?"

"I'll tell you what she was doing," Velma said, and pulled a small avian statue from the hidden pocket in the front of the disguise. "She was stealing the priceless Calixtlahuaca Chicken."

"What would you want with that crazy thing?" Shaggy cut in.

"It's haunted!" Scooby-Doo added.

"It's not haunted, you idiots," Dr. Freehausen said with a sneer. "It's worth its weight in gold!"

"And was lawfully bequeathed to the Morehead Museum," Velma said. However unlawfully it might have ended up in the donor's hands -- but that was a fight for a different day.

"So what? It should have been mine. I dedicated my life to that site!" she said, and squirmed in her bonds. As slippery as all that glow in the dark paint was, though, Daphne had been a Girl Scout. She knew her knots.

"So did a lot of other people," Fred said, and crossed his arms. "And you know the museum has been failing. What would they have done if their main exhibit had been stolen by a lowdown thief like you?"

"Oh, that's bullshit," Dr. Freehausen said, and Fred looked mildly scandalized. "Ticket sales have been through the roof since the Aztec Chicken Ghost was first sighted. It's a win-win!"

Velma shook her head and tsked. "It's a felony," she said. "And you'll be going to jail for it for a long, long time."

The police, when they arrived, seemed to agree with that assessment.

"I would have gotten away with it, too, if not for those meddling kids!" Dr. Freehausen muttered to herself as they led her away, and Velma watched those bright, glowing chicken tracks as she went.

"Gee," Daphne said, resting one perfectly manicured hand on her hip. "Those ghosts really are all the same underneath."

"Just selfish old liars," Fred said.

"Who need to get some new lines!" Shaggy added. "Isn't that right, Scoob?"

"Yeah, yeah," Scooby-Doo said, nodding vigorously.

"Well, at least one thing wasn't a lie," Velma said, thinking back on all the ways Dr. Freehausen could have actually gotten some of that fame or fortune she was so desperate for without breaking the law. "She really was nothing but a giant chicken."


End file.
